The teenager learns that she is self-inflicted suicide and receives psychotherapy after being adopted.

17 years ago, adoptive parents adopted a small abandoned baby girl who was still in trouble. Xiaomei, who had a heart of conviction, had rebelled since childhood, skipping classes, playing teachers, running away from home, promiscuous friends, 12-year-old workers working on fake ID cards, and at the age of 14 he had tasted the “forbidden fruit”, and even committed suicide.

"The daughter has a glass heart." This is the first sentence that the small-American (a pseudonym) adoptive father said when he entered the Guangzhou Baiyun Mental Hospital. After 4 months of treatment, in the face of the young girl in the flower season, introverted took over. Nowadays, with the help of her friends, she runs a Taobao shop and will also send her parents a small gift.

Dr. Chen, a psychiatrist, said that if the child guesses the secret that was abandoned, it will result in lack of self-worth and turn to “represent” oneself through bad behavior. Confessing and concealing is a dilemma for all foster families. To create a harmonious parent-child relationship, “confession is more desirable than concealment”.

Experience: Problems Maids leave home several times

From elementary school, Xiaomei was a poor student. Poor performance, top teacher even hit the teacher.

After repeating the transfer to repeat the fifth grade, Xiaomi was expelled for playing the music teacher. She did not know how to explain to her family, so she packed several clothes and once again left home.

Xiaomei was 12 years old. With the help of her boyfriend, she carried an "18-year-old" ID card and went to work in a restaurant in Haizhu District, Guangzhou. After going from 9 am to 22 am everyday, after 22 days away, the adoptive parents found Xiao Mei through the male students.

Xiaomei's face has a pale, fair-looking skin. Referring to her boyfriend's experience, she frankly said nothing. The first-time experience took place on the 14th birthday and the other person was Weiwei (a pseudonym) who was 4 years older than her.

This relationship only lasted for a month. Afterwards, I talked about a couple of things, but I didn't know what I was doing. I only knew that I had talked about it for half a year and I hadn’t been able to come for a short month. Reminiscing about the experiences of young and young promiscuity, Xiaomei was remorseful but admitted that at the time, "it didn't matter."

Confirmation of Self-inflicted Suicide after Adoption

For Xiaomei, the 14-year-old means the disintegration of the original world.

Xiaomei said that when she was very young, she vaguely felt that she was not a parent. This was also the reason for the previous rebellion. Xiaomei has two older brothers, all of whom are adoptive parents. She said that her mother seems to prefer the second brother. Originally, my father was hurt Xiaomei, but because the business is busy, but also no time to take into account the section. People around you will also reveal clues from time to time. "Say I am jealous."

At the age of 14 when she was quarreling, the desperate mother finally said: "If it weren't for adoption, you don't know where you are now!" Xiaomei felt a crash. "We have nothing." Back to the room, I do not know how to resolve the pain, she decided to use the pain of the body to distract the pain in my heart. "I always use glass to draw my own arm and use it to burn myself. I don't know the pain because my heart is hurting. I just feel that I'll be bleeding when I see myself bleeding." Xiaomei said she also tried to commit suicide, but later The moment can't be resolved.

Receiving 4 months of professional psychotherapy

On July 17, 2010, adoptive parents decided to send Xiaomei to Guangzhou Baiyun Mental Hospital. Dr. Chen is Xiaomei's attending doctor. She said that Xiaomei Gang had been rebellious and self-imposed when she was admitted to the hospital. She did not like to be restrained, and she did not like other people's comments. He also was fined three times for smoking and fighting.

Xiaomei is mainly engaged in case treatment and group therapy in psychological hospitals. Case treatment includes sand table treatment, painting treatment and so on. The group therapy is mainly a small class of students studying psychology courses and participating in some outreach activities to train their ability to interact with people.

On November 16, 2010, Xiaomei was discharged after passing the psychological and behavioral tests.

Status: Shop Online Shop for Family Gifts

After leaving the hospital, Xiaomei chose to self-reliant. She alone rented a house in Guangzhou, worked as a waiter, supermarket cashier, bakery cashier, and Taobao photography assistant. As a photo assistant, Xiaomei met a friend who had opened a shoe factory. The other person guided and helped her start a business. Now she opens a shoe store on Taobao.

In addition to running his own Taobao shop, Xiaomei sometimes picks up some photos from friends who have opened photo studios and returns them with PS. "It's not difficult to go watermark or something," Xiaomei said.

Xiaomei is now able to support herself and after leaving the hospital "hasn't reached out to his parents for money." Although the relationship with adoptive parents is still "sloppy," it has been greatly improved compared to the past. "Sometimes we buy small gifts for moms and dads and brothers, and do our filial piety."

Interpretation: adoption families may wish to choose "open"

Dr. Chen told reporters that there is a high probability of adopting children with psychological problems and they receive similar cases almost every year.

Families with foster children generally fall into two categories: one is closed, insists on not telling the children the truth, how long can they bow for a long time, and parents often show special favors and pampers for adopted children. “This often leads to children’s Sensitive, suspicious, ego; the other is openness, which tells the child the truth from the very beginning.

Dr. Chen believes that closed style is often not conducive to the healthy development of children. “We think children don’t remember childhood things, but the fact is that the first time the abandoned injuries have already existed in the subconscious of the child, so when he grows up, he will slowly confirm his own idea.” Xiaomei is a typical example. "Unconsciously, you know that you have been abandoned. This creates a lack of self-worth. You need to express yourself through a series of bad behavior."

If you choose to be open-ended, when your child learns about adoption, parents can express equal love to the child. Dr. Chen said that as long as foster parents create a good family atmosphere, they can help adopted children to establish correct understanding and regain confidence. For example, in daily life and learning, adoptive parents should not take special care of them, avoid causing unnecessary thoughts, and even allow children to do some housework according to their personal likes and dislikes, “so that he feels his worth in this family and reduces Adoption of compassion and sense of redundancy for children improves their sense of worth and self-efficacy.”

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